She looked at the mirror, moved her hand over it, her fingers slowly tracing the image in the glass and then looked back at the picture lying in front of her. The picture of him with her, the picture that had been haunting her from the moment she saw it, the picture that had the potential to deprive her of the simple pleasures of sleep, the monotonous activity of eating and the mundane tasks of life bringing her back to where she started from. All those tears, all that pain once again forming in her chest making it constrict, breaking her apart, piercing her soul. It has been so long, she once again realised. Her glance fell back on the picture and a whirlpool of emotions made its way inside her as slowly and gradually her eyes went blur and a drop of that salty water fell onto that picture, the drop that clearly witnessed the fact that she still cared, that she still loved him with the same or even greater passion and that she still desired for him to come back, to hold her hand, to give her that smile that lit her world and make her forget it all as a nightmare to start their story all over again, to make it one of those that at the end read, ‘And they lived happily ever after’.
She could picture them both being happy in their shell and no matter how hard she tried, she failed to find her place in that frame. Frames are such pinching things, she thought; they block your way out of what you desire for so very easily, they leave you helpless and empty handed, unwanted and unneeded so very easily. Ugh. She walked forlorn and took her place in front of the piano. She started playing the tune as the waterfall inside her fell with even greater pressure, making it all blur, yet making the meaning even more clearer. The music took a note higher with each beat.
‘What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that love in you
Is what I was tryin’ to do’
It was a world of dreams going down the drain, a whirlpool of emotions breaking her apart. Almost a year gone by but the pain still fresh, so fresh that a single realisation, every uttered word, every taken step and every dark, chilly winter night brought him back all over again. His words. His actions. His laughter.
Such was the love and such was the abandonment!
Emotions Overflowing 